Am I an “addict”?

To help you assess where you are at, you can take the anonymous online sexual addiction screening test (SAST):  

http://www.conquerseries.com/sast/

There are a number of other free assessments such as the “Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment”, “Internet Sex Screening Test” or “Betrayal Bond Index Test” which are helpful tools to assess where you are at:  https://www.recoveryzone.com/

Addiction or bondage can best be understood with the initialism CNO.

Is it compulsive? You keep going back. Is it obsessive? You spend much time thinking about it and trying to manage it. Does it have negative consequences? If it’s compulsive and obsessive it will have negative consequences. However, viewing Pornography occasionally, like sniffing cocaine occasionally will be detrimental to your health.

You may not be addicted or in bondage, but may only have slipped very infrequently due to the nature of the internet. However, it will still help you to arm and educate yourself as well as live in mutual accountability and support to keep yourself from further slips. (To many slips are basically an addiction manifesting in a binge ‘purge cycle’). Educating yourself will also equip you to come alongside other adults as well as teens who are completely swamped with porn.

If you have been habitually struggling then please take to heart that God is absolutely for us. This means he will never leave us nor forsake us (and that is not just a promise but a threat). He sent his Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but to save the world through himself (cf. John 3:17). In the place we find ourselves right now Jesus cares for us deeply. He is a gracious God and longs to be gracious to us. He rejoices over us when we return to him (Zephaniah 3: 14 – 17, Luke 15: 7, Isaiah 30: 15 – 18).

God will not allow you to minimize your sin …but he will not allow you to minimize yourself either

But there is another side to this as expressed in the words of Isaiah 30:15 – 18 “In returning and rest is your salvation … but you would have none of it.” If you continue in denial, minimizing your sin (not minimizing yourself), blaming others (parents, spouse, church, society, stress etc), hiding from the truth and making right sound wrong and wrong sound right, then you will remain stuck. When you mess up, God will continue to pursue you, but at the same time will allow you to experience consequences and go through pain. He will completely expose you for your own good so that you will humble yourself, get honest and seek help.

Some addicts have just never had the courage and conviction necessary to take steps towards healing through a support group and have ended up suddenly destroyed:

” Whoever remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy” (Proverbs 29: 1) 

Yet God’s heart longs to be gracious to you and he waits for you. But you have to turn your heart towards home and attend to the issues fueling this sin, or experience painful consequences.

If we don’t deal with this we will pass on an addictive mindset to our children … scientific research in Epigenetics guarantees this and God guarantees this in the 10 commandments … we may lose everything of value to us because things get unmanageable

If we don’t deal with this, it will be passed onto our children. The 10 commandments guarantees us this because it is how God designed us.  Modern scientific research in Epigenetics guarantees this. Our children may not become sexual addicts, but they will have an addictive mindset and they may become some other kind of addict. We may lose our spouse that we have been lying to, we may lose the respect of friends, we may lose our job, our health, we might lose everything precious to us.

Pornography and sexual seduction is that destructive and if churches continue in denial we could end up raising a generation of addicts – even in the church. Let’s heed the warnings of Scripture in Ephesians chapter 5

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: no immoral, impure or greedy person – such a person is an idolater – has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them